The First Trimester: Excited, Sick, Tired and Lonely

A few week ago, I wrote this post.  It’s a post about how lonely I felt, how I basically felt like giving up everything – questioning the meaning of what I was doing. In part, looking back now I feel it was a good indication for how I felt the whole first trimester of this pregnancy.

Yes – if you missed it, we are having a baby! Little baby number three is due next April, and we’re very excited. But, I received a few questions on Instagram as to how I was feeling and how on earth I took a photo every day, so I thought I’d answer a few questions and tell you all the details (well, not all of the details, hah!).

Did I have morning sickness? More like, all day sickness. Did I get tired? HELL YES. Did I eat to make myself feel better? YES, all of the YES.

When I first found out I was pregnant, at first my reaction was one of shock, then a smile crept over my face that I just couldn’t keep away. I always wanted more children but to be honest we were quite happy with two – it was busy, but fun; and we were enjoying the stage we were at (no nappies, both kids sleeping through the night 99% of the time, and school next year for our eldest).

The day I found out we were having another baby!

However the true reaction I had was that of joy and it was in my heart I knew that this was the best thing to happen.

The next 12 weeks, however, were horrid, honestly. When you can’t tell anyone, it’s awful. We wanted to wait until we had the initial appointment with my obstetrician, then had told our family, and friends before we told the world at large. We also waited until relatively late to tell the girls – and I’m glad we did – Hannah told everyone at Kindy show and tell the week she found out, LOL!

I had to say no to a lot of opportunities because I just couldn’t stomach the thought, I was so exhausted. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I felt (and still feel) nauseous all day, unless I’m eating plain rice, cheddar cheese, pears, cheesecake, sweet and sour ANYTHING or pasta. Most days I would have been happy to stay in bed all day. Unfortunately this is just not an option when you have two other kids who need to get out and about, to daycare, to Kindy, etc.

These three months have also been up and down emotionally for us with two tragic deaths in both of our families, funerals; but also a most wonderful family wedding. It’s been a blur.

The worst few days were following a death in the family, when Audrey and I caught a cold, then Audrey spent all night in hospital. It’s been a real ride, these three months.

But, I’ve had my 13 week scan and everything looks perfect, a healthy little one growing stronger each day. It sounds so cheesy but we truly are so lucky.

13 weeks pregnant – wearing Chasing Case dress

I guess I just wanted to truthfully tell you – if I didn’t already commit to taking an outfit day and posting it for the world to see, I definitely wouldn’t have! My saving graces were sunglasses, top knots, lipstick, cheese toasties. I was very low some days, emotionally – it’s a lonely, lonely place when you’re feeling so sick, yet can’t tell anyone; you don’t feel like doing anything but you feel like you’re missing out on so much. You might have noticed I haven’t really been on Instagram stories as not only did I feel like I was lying by omission, some days I just felt so drained; so tired and sick that I didn’t want to talk.

The photo I post every day is just one moment, literally a tiny snap of my whole day. And I’m sorry I haven’t shared everything, but I’m sure you understand.

But now that it is all official I’m looking forward to sharing more with you as time goes on.

So, please tell me, what are your best nausea cures?! (And also taking your favourite baked cheesecake recipes, please and thank you.)