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    It's Personal, LIFE, MAMA & BABY

    Learning to Accept Help | Mama + Baby

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    Last night I wore ear plugs to bed.

    This might seem unremarkable and a totally bizarre thing to warrant a blog post, however for me it’s a big deal.

    I have two children, and neither sleep through the night yet. While Audrey had been a pretty good sleeper since she was born six-and-a-half months ago (until about a month ago), I can count on one hand the number of times Hannah (2.5) has slept through the night.

    And I have never not got up to at least one of them. Not because I don’t have anyone to help, and not because my husband doesn’t want to, or try, or offer, it’s because I can’t accept help. And really, technically it’s not ‘help’ – it’s parenting – and it’s only half my job. But, you see, I’ve self imposed the job entirely on myself and thus I cannot give up control. It’s a big issue for me and one I’ve struggled with forever.

    Since Hannah started daycare in January we’ve been sick on and off with colds and other viruses and poor little Audrey has copped the brunt of them too. She’s been a trooper though and has recovered really well from each illness, apart from the current cold, which has now lasted two weeks.

    It’s been a killer couple of weeks. I had a cold too and of course there is no sick days in this job! Audrey has been waking three to four times before 1am and then a 3am wake up which lasts for 45 minutes. Then there is a 1.5 hour sleep, and then she is awake at 6am. That’s of course when Hannah comes in to ask to ‘watch TV’ or ‘have something to eat’.

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    It’s here where I’ll admit there’s been a few times during the past few weeks of which I have questioned everything – our choice to have another child within two years of Hannah, our choice to have children at all. Yep, I have. Most of the time it’s approximately 3am when these thoughts come into my head.

    Mornings are absolute killers, and so are the 4-7pm witching hours. I need sleep. I need a break. I need time to myself. Children are so emotionally draining – I’ve realised that’s the hard thing about raising them. They make you so happy, yet angry, yet disappointed, yet sad, yet frustrated, yet confused, yet so happy again all within twenty minutes. After just one day it can feel like you’ve been put through the washing machine. Well that’s if you could fit, as it’s never empty after you have children.

    But honestly, this is not a complaint. At all. Having children is marvellous for so many reasons and I’m so blessed to have these little girls in my life. They truly do make me feel whole. They make me laugh more than anyone ever has. Some days I do not stop smiling. But I’m not lying when I say some days are just absolutely draining.

    When I take my everydaystyle photos, it is indeed what I am wearing that day, however sometimes there might be sunglasses to hide red, tired eyes. (Actually, all the time!) Sometimes I’ve just finished negotiating for an hour with a toddler over bath time/nap time/no chocolate before dinner/ yes we must leave the park. Sometimes I’ve spent an hour feeding a fussing 6 month old. Most of the time I’ve had two-three hours sleep.

    If they don't nap, they come with me to take my everyday style photos!

    If they don’t nap, they come with me to take my everyday style photos!

    And up until now, I’ve been absolutely trying to do (mostly, what feels like) everything myself. The cleaning, the parenting, the cooking, the shopping, the organising, the feeding. And burning out. I can’t accept help.

    I’ve always thought these things, especially getting up to baby, is my job. As I’m breastfeeding I’ve self-imposed feeding and bed time for Audrey as solely my job. The fact is, I’m not her only parent and my husband, and others who may care for her, are more than capable of looking after her, feeding her and putting her to sleep. Whilst that’s easy to write, it’s not easy for me to put into practice.

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    Dad and daughter love.

    Two nights ago it came to a head, when, after nights and nights of no sleep, I hit my limit and at 3.30am, when my husband stepped in to take Audrey and put her to sleep, I refused. Crankily. With a few *choice* words. Then, after an emotional day and a trip to the doctor to ensure Audrey just had a cold and nothing more sinister, I accepted help.

    I agreed to a half/half night shift and I would take the 12-6am shift. Audrey was bathed, fed and put to sleep. I then wore earplugs. I gave up control. It was hard, but after a few hours sleep and realising I did not have to get up to the first cry, I relaxed. And you know what, she didn’t even cry like I imagined she would. Hubby said after a bit of grizzling, a little cry when she realised it was her daddy and not me, she went to sleep. It was wonderful. When my ‘shift’ kicked in and at 3.30 when Audrey woke I was more than happy to see her and put her back to sleep. And she slept well.

    It was so worth it. And we’ll do it again tonight. I know it has only been one night and change takes a while to become routine. Hopefully though, it can continue to work for all of us and we can all get at least a little more sleep. I’ll tell you in a week!

    If you’ve ever felt like me, like everything is your job, if it’s all a bit overwhelming, but you are the one standing in the way of accepting help, give it a try. Know that it can be done. And more than likely, nothing bad will happen.

    Ear plugs are magic too, aren’t they!

    LIFE, My Kidlets

    A Few of My Favourite Things | 22 April 

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    This week has been hectic – all because of no sleep. Audrey has been ill, Hannah has been a bit crazy and I’ve been all like… Whyyyy?!? Also, can you believe it’s nearly MAY?! How did that happen?! 

    Here’s a few of my favourite things this week. 

    1. My birthday.
    Thursday was my 31st birthday and because I didn’t really *celebrate* (read: drink champagne and dance on the table) my 30th as I was 2.5 months pregnant with Audrey at the time, I was really looking forward to my birthday this year. That was, until everyone got sick, and tired, and busy, and everything else. 

    I did, however, get to do a few special things. I went and got my nails done at Lush, we went out for lunch and I’ve enjoyed a drink. Hopefully we’ll get to catch up with some friends and family this weekend. And there’s something extra special about your children being so excited for your birthday, a ‘happy birthday mummy’ and helping you to blow out the (many) candles. 

    Birthday lunch at Julius Pizzeria

    Audrey and I at lunch

    2. Folksy embroidery.
    One of my favourite looks at the moment is the boho/folk look, and I’m crushing on anything with folk embroidery right now. Check out my Pinterest board here for style inspo. At the moment I’m loving this sweater from Superdry (AUD$84.95). I could imagine this being tucked into a denim skirt and with ankle boots; over the top of a denim shirt dress or tied around the waist of a floaty dress and with thigh high boots. Pick one of the floral colours out with lipstick to match and braid your hair. Amazing! 

      

    3. Banana Paddle Pops.
    I dont care what anyone says, or how bad they are for me, banana paddle pops are the bomb diggity. And thankfully, Hannah and Herman aren’t fans (well, they’ll eat them but only if there is no chocolate or rainbow), so I get the banana ones to myself. Winning! 

     

    Don’t try to deny how amazing these are!


    4. Cooler mornings
    Yes, it’s *supposedly* autumn right now, however we all know that’s some sort of joke word for ‘summer with slightly cooler mornings’ here in Brisbane. Whatever you call it, I’m enjoying the cooler mornings. Hannah usually crawls into our bed, I’m snuggled up with Audrey and then we sleep for a little bit longer. It’s lovely. (Note: winter can arrive any time now though, please and thank you.) 

     
    What have been your favourite things this week? 

    This post has been sponsored by The Iconic however all words are my own. 

    It's Personal, MAMA & BABY, My Kidlets

    Baby Update | Five Things I’ve Done Differently This Time

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    Audrey is now twelve weeks old (tomorrow!). I can barely believe it. With my first, the time seemed to creep by as I impatiently waited for her to hit every little milestone. 

    Yes, it’s totally different the second time around. You’re more relaxed. You (somewhat) know what you are doing. You might be a bit more focused on routines, or a little less. 

    One thing I know for sure is that there is no going back in time, and although having my first child was ridiculously amazing and special, I sometimes wish I could perhaps go back in time with the knowledge I have now.

    The first time around, I certainly wasn’t one to listen to advice. ‘I’ll figure it out’, ‘I know what my baby needs’ were common thoughts going through my head the first time. And although somewhat true, it perhaps wouldn’t have hurt to be a bit more open minded to some of the well-meaning advice I received. It potentially would have led to a less stressful time and definitely less anxiety on my behalf. 

    This time around, my parenting technique has definitely changed. I’m much more open to trying things, seeing what works. I’m also much more practical and a lot less anxious. As such, sometimes I get a case of the guilts over how anxious I was when Hannah was a baby. Although totally natural and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it now, I sometimes wish I could have been as relaxed as I am with Audrey with Hannah. But, some things you just have to learn for yourself. 

    So what have I done differently this time? For both children, I have applied a loose ‘attachment’ and ‘fourth trimester’ parenting style, of which I don’t really let them cry, I breastfeed, they sleep in our room as long as we can fit them, I don’t control cry; on the whole it’s pretty gentle parenting. I’m not one for super strict routines as I like to play things by ear however I do set a rough timeline that we stick to, especially with nap times. 

    Being the second child, Audrey has had to fit in with Hannah’s routine and luckily (or perhaps because of) she’s a pretty chilled out baby so far. But, there’s been things I’ve done differently this time that I think have gone a long way in helping all of us to cope (and enjoy) a new addition to the family. Here’s five little things I’ve done or used that have helped this time around.

    1. Nap times are stuck to (generally). Hannah naps at around 12-2 each day and Audrey has fallen into a rough pattern of 9.30, 12.30, 4pm naps. This is totally great on paper however sometimes when Hannah does not go down for her nap easily it is an absolute nightmare, however we stick it out and ensure Hannah naps. Otherwise we’d all go a bit bonkers. Now Audrey is in a routine I make sure I’m either at home or she’s in the baby wrap (more on that below) at these times.

    2. I use a sleeping bag/swaddle bag for Audrey to sleep in. With Hannah, I used a simple muslin swaddle and she rarely slept more than 1.5 hours at a time. (Plus I was awful, really awful at swaddling and thus I spent many sleepless nights with her asleep in my arms as I rocked her.) Audrey loves the swaddle bags. She sleeps 5-6 hours straight in them. Hannah didn’t sleep 5-6 hours straight until she was about 15 months old! We loved the Gro Company Swaddle Grobag AUD$35.96 and the Love to Dream SwaddleUp Lite AUD$41.95

    Audrey in the Love To Dream SwaddleUp

    Audrey in the Love To Dream SwaddleUp

    Little Audrey in the SwaddleUp Grobag

    Little Audrey in the SwaddleUp Grobag

    3. I baby wear. I absolutely LOVE my baby wrap. There’s many available on the market however mine is a Chekoh. It’s the best baby ‘thing’ I have ever owned! Although we had an Ergo baby carrier for Hannah, I didn’t feel comfortable with it until she was about 6 months old. I’ve worn Audrey since she was 1 week old in the stretchy wrap, and I love it. Not only are your hands free, there’s no bulky pram to lug around and it also ensures she sleeps soundly wherever we are. And it has totally helped my anxiety. I remember when Hannah was about 6 weeks old we had a good friend’s 30th birthday to attend. We took along Hannah and we bundled her into the pram. I spent the whole time lurking by the pram waiting for her to wake up, stressed to my bones that she would cry and I wouldn’t hear her. It made me sick to my stomach to not be near her. And then when she woke up, she was passed around the party and I felt so out of control. In contrast, when Audrey was only two weeks old, we attended a 30th and I popped Audrey into the stretchy wrap. I could talk to friends, and relax, and enjoy the party without stressing out about where she was, who was holding her or if she was asleep or needed me. Best. Thing. Ever. 

    Wearing Audrey in the Chekoh wrap

    Wearing Audrey in the Chekoh wrap

    Getting out to the park with Hannah is so much easier with the wrap! (Can you tell I'm a little obsessed?!)

    Getting out to the park with Hannah is so much easier with the wrap! (Can you tell I’m a little obsessed?!)

    4. Live, rather than capture the moment. I’ve been cautious ever since Audrey was born that there would be as many photos of her as I have of Hannah as a baby. I’m the first born in my family and there are literally ALBUMS full of photos of me. My brother however, not so much! And he was a way cuter baby, too! I know many second or third born children who simply do not have many photos of themselves as a baby so I was determined to not do the same. However, I’m in two minds about this. I now realise how quickly time moves on and how I need to stop and smell the roses so to speak, and enjoy the moments with my babies. Especially during the newborn stage. When you’re pregnant, 12 weeks feels like an eternity, with a baby you’ll swear they were just born and here they are, walking and talking and singing Justin Bieber (yep, that’s Hannah). So, although I’m being sure to capture some special pics of Audrey, I’m also conscious of being in the moment and making sure she’s smiling at me, not the back of my phone or the lens of my camera.

    Love the little moments.

    Love the little moments.

    5. I’m not paying too much attention to milestones. We’re lucky enough to have pretty healthy babies and although I knew that the first time, I probably paid a bit too much attention to what ‘the book’ or ‘that website’ said they should be able to do at each age. Sleeping through the night, crawling, sitting up and walking are huge milestones however they are different for each baby. I’m paying attention to them, but using it as a rough guide as opposed to something that is set in stone. And that’s making for a much more relaxed approach. 

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    Having two kids is a massive challenge emotionally, logistically and physically, however I’m determined this time to take it a bit slower, relax and enjoy.

    Do you have more than one child? If so, did you change your parenting tactics the second time round? 

    HOW I WORE IT, LIFE, MAMA & BABY, My Kidlets, Outfits, Travel

    Baby Update | Christmas and New Year’s Eve With a Baby

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    Having a newborn over the holiday season can be both beautiful and stressful. Lots of family want to see the new baby = stressful BUT lots of family to share baby joy with = beautiful. Celebrating = beautiful; celebrating on 2.5 hours sleep per night = stressful (and exhausting!). Family and friends helping with baby duties = beautiful; feeling a bit disconnected from baby and upsetting what little of routine you may have set in = stressful.

    Audrey - seven weeks' old just after Christmas

    Audrey – seven weeks’ old just after Christmas

    I’ve now been through it twice (Hannah was 2 weeks old the Christmas after she was born) and this year I was much more prepared for the emotional roller coaster. For one, it helped my anxiety levels that Audrey was 6 weeks old for Christmas and had her first round of vaccinations that week (whooping cough and all the rest). It also helped that I was armed with my baby wrap (I have a Chekoh) so if ever I felt like baby needed a proper sleep or that she was being a bit ‘pass the parcel’-like I popped her in the wrap for a bit of respite.

    Wearing Audrey in the Chekoh stretchy wrap at Southbank

    Wearing Audrey in the Chekoh stretchy wrap at Southbank

    This year it was wonderful to celebrate Christmas with a toddler who really understood much more about the meaning of Christmas. Hannah loved all of the lights, the Christmas trees and even the music. She was so into it, and it was super cute to see her open her gifts with genuine excitement and joy. I have to say it was also super cute to see her give Audrey her presents and ‘help’ her open them (read: open them and play with them as they were her own). Side note here: have you ever witnessed a toddler opening clothes gifts? The FUNNY. Toddlers are so honest (and let’s face it clothes at that age are a really boring present for them to open) – Hannah just ripped them open, took one look and chucked them over her shoulder! Hilarious.

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    Anyway, what did you get up to for Christmas day? My husband’s family has a Christmas Eve tradition of mass and then opening the presents after midnight, so we did that, and then on Christmas Day did the road trip to see my parents who were at my nan’s house for the day. It was lovely and Hannah really enjoyed seeing all of the family over the two days. Audrey had started to smile at that point which was super cute too.

    What did I wear? I always feel you need to wear something polished yet comfortable for family events, and I wore this Ambrosia Maxi dress from St Frock on Christmas Day {gifted; I’m wearing a 10 and I am 158cm tall – there’s other prints in the same style here}.

    Wearing St Frock Ambrosia dress

    Wearing St Frock Ambrosia dress

    After Christmas we spent those few middle days relaxing and then moved over to our apartment at south Brisbane which would be our home for New Year’s Eve. My hubby works for a property group and we were fortunate enough to stay in an apartment at the Botanica Residences on the border of West End. It’s a walk away from South Bank and the West End restaurants and I really loved the location. The unit was amazing with all the mod cons and lots of copper and black decor. Before baby proofing (removing all the lovely, interesting vases, pot plants and coffee table books from sight of toddler) I took photos so we could put everything back where we found it.

    For New Year’s Eve itself Hannah went to stay at her grandparents (Audrey stayed with us – so much easier when you’re breastfeeding!) and we had a few friends over for dinner. We cooked the main (pulled beef burgers by Ben O’Donohue – definitely repeating the recipe – amazing!) and our friends brought along entree and dessert. Over a few glasses of bubbly we played Cards of Humanity and caught up. We then watched the fireworks from the balcony. So grown up! A far cry from days of cocktails, all night partying and super high heels! But I couldn’t imagine anything better, it was very chilled yet we had a great time. I wore another St Frock dress, the Chasing Kate Evelyn lace dress {I’m wearing the size 12 and I am 158cm tall}.

    Wearing St Frock Evelyn Dress

    Wearing St Frock Evelyn Dress

    New Year's Eve with friends

    New Year’s Eve with friends

    Fireworks over South Bank

    Fireworks over South Bank

    For the next few days we pretended that we didn’t live 10 minutes away and soaked up the local sights. We had breakfast at Billykart and Habitat (both recommended) went to the museum and walked along South Bank. We were all ready to use the pool however it was unusually cool so we didn’t get around to it.

    Checking out the dinosaurs at the Queensland Museum

    Checking out the dinosaurs at the Queensland Museum

    Breakfast at Billykart

    Breakfast at Billykart

    Coffee at Habitat

    Coffee at Habitat

    Babycinos at Billykart

    Babycinos at Billykart

    There really is a lot to do over that side of town and if you’re visiting Brisbane I highly recommend it, especially if you have little kids.

    (Here’s more about the Botanica Residences if you’d like more info.)

    What did you get up to on New Year’s Eve? Are you a party animal or an ‘in bed by 9pm’ type of person? (I’ve totally been both!)

    It's Personal, MAMA & BABY, My Kidlets

    Baby Update – The Birth | Mama + Baby

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    A few people have asked as to what Audrey’s birth was like, only because it was slightly abnormal – I had a VBAC (a natural birth following a caesarean). I also have thought that because it was quite different, even funny in parts I’d like to remember it, and what better way than to write it down? I don’t go into the {gory} details here so don’t worry too much, however it’s a bit of a tale about the day our second daughter was born.

    I intend to replace what was my bump updates with baby updates, and now I think I’ve come through much of the newborn fog I can finally get around to completing some so, here’s the first – the tale of Audrey’s birth (apologies in advance for the length!).

    Something’s happening

    It was about 2.30am on Monday 9 November when I just knew something was happening. I was then 38.5 weeks pregnant and I just felt not quite right. I had been feeling out of sorts, not sleeping and with intermittent stomach pain since the Thursday before. But that morning, I knew something was happening. I didn’t wake Herman or Hannah, as although I had an inkling something was up, I still wasn’t sure. When you haven’t really been in labour before, you really don’t quite know if contractions are contractions, when they first begin anyway.

    My last pregnancy photo! The day before Audrey was born.

    My last pregnancy photo! The day before Audrey was born.

    The Friday prior I also had this feeling, and I went into my scheduled appointment with my obstetrician half expecting her to say I was in labour. After a full examination, however, she said I was not in labour and it could be still some time away, and to go home and rest as much as I could, but really just wait it out. You might be thinking why on earth was I so impatient, especially as I was not even close to 40 weeks! Well, I had never been that pregnant before. Hannah was born at 37 weeks, via C-section as she was breech. This time, I was still deciding whether to trial labour and potentially have a VBAC or to go ahead with a planned c-section. My obstetrician had told me the baby was in a great position, actually near textbook position and that I was a definite candidate for a trial of labour. She also mentioned that there is risk with a VBAC that the scar will rupture – a 1 in 200 chance – which was a little scary. I had said I was willing to give it a try if I was to go into labour prior to a scheduled c-section date. However, on that Friday? I was just OVER IT. I actually cried when she said I wasn’t in labour. Originally, we had planned my c-section for 38.5 weeks, which would be 9 November. However, as I was doing quite well (up until that Friday) we decided to cancel it and wait it out a bit longer. I was regretting that decision on the Friday, and my obstetrician said to come in Monday morning as we would reassess then. She said if needed we could book it in that day. I went home relieved, and happy that it was only potentially three days until I would meet baby number two.

    So, that Monday morning, 9 November, I had a chuckle as I thought how funny it would be if I actually was in labour on my original C-section date. I decided to just wait until my obstetrician appointment at 10.15am before I called the hospital, as my water had not yet broken. I called my mum to come and look after Hannah and I asked hubby to come into the appointment with me (just in case!).

    Off to the obstetrician

    When we arrived at the obstetrician, the reception informed me that my obs had just had to race over to the birthing suites as one of her patients was in labour. She then said she wasn’t sure how long she would be. I said it was fine and we were happy to wait. Herman pipes up with ‘She’s having contractions.’ The receptionist looked like she’d seen a ghost: ‘REALLY?!?’ She says. I replied that I thought I was. After consulting with my obstetrician, I was told to go straight to the pregnancy assessment unit, where my obstetrician would meet us. It was a busy day at the pregnancy assessment suite and as we waited in the lobby, the contractions were getting stronger and stronger, and I was having to walk around to get rid of them. It was then I knew it was ON.

    You’re going to have a baby today

    My obstetrician met me in a room and after a quick exam she said I was 3cm dilated and that I was going to have a baby today. Well, HANG ON WHAT?!? It still didn’t feel real – it’s so bizarre – you’ve waited 9-10 months to hear those words however for some reason it still hits you with a fervent mix of excitement, fear, joy and shock. At this point, I wasn’t even thinking about a c-section, I was just in pain!

    A midwife arrived to take me up to a private room to wait until I was further dilated before entering the birthing suite. Herman went to move the car and I wandered around the room. Suddenly the contractions went from about a 3 in pain level to a firm 7 and I was in agony. At that point a nurse entered the room and taking one look at my face she remarked: ‘I think you’re in active labour! You need to go to the birthing suite.’ Before hubby had even returned from moving the car I was back on the move and into a birthing suite. The birthing room was huge and all I could think about was having a shower. Or a stiff drink! Herman returned from moving the car and his excitement was probably at the same level as my pain at that point.

    I tried the gas and air however struggled to know what to do with it. A midwife showed me how to use it properly and I found a small amount of relief. I then jumped in the shower and stayed there for a good hour or two – I actually didn’t want to leave as it offered such relief and distraction from the pain.

    After a good couple of hours in the birthing suite the contractions were much longer and closer together and all I could think about was that I couldn’t last much longer. ‘How do people do this?!’ Is all I could say. Like seriously, WHAT THE ACTUAL. At this point my obstetrician checked my progress and I was 6cm. I cried ‘Noooo’ as I thought I was surely further along. At this point, I asked for the epidural. I was told the anaesthetist would be at least 30 minutes away (again, thanks to the busy day at the maternity ward!) and then it would take another 20 minutes to work. I agreed as at this point I was so physically and mentally exhausted and I just couldn’t imagine going much longer.

    It’s happening!

    The anaesthetist arrived after a good 45 minutes and everything happened quite quickly from then. After a good 30 minutes I was still in a lot of pain, although it wasn’t as bad and the contractions had slowed. The midwife checked and the epidural had not worked properly – it was patchy. However, it did offer some relief and I probably had four or five contractions before the midwife examined me and found I was fully dilated. She called my obstetrician who arrived and then announced that it was time to push.

    This is the part I was terrible at. It just felt bizarre but it was good to have a job – to have to push. As I had the previous c-section this was also the part we would have to monitor carefully.

    After 45 minutes of pushing I still couldn’t quite grasp what I was supposed to be doing, and my obs said that I couldn’t push for too much longer or she would have to use the vacuum. This was a bit of a wakeup call for me as I was not keen on the vacuum at all and I somehow found some energy and some strength and finally I felt like I was doing something. Soon after, Audrey was born! It was 5.16pm. We were euphoric, and I couldn’t believe she was finally here!

    We named her Audrey Charlotte – Audrey after my girl crush on Audrey Hepburn and Charlotte was chosen by Herman. She is pretty perfect.

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    We then spent four days in hospital – mostly as I was enjoying the help! I can’t fault the staff at Mater Mothers Private, and I am so glad I trusted my obstetrician to know what was the best path of action. I’m so happy that I had the VBAC which I probably would haven’t considered had it not been for my obstetrician who believed I could do it. The midwives at the Mater were also amazing and I don’t think I could have done it without the one in particular who stuck by my side the whole labour. And of course, my hubby was wonderful – he really helped me through some of the really difficult parts and was so excited that it was somewhat a distraction from the pain!

    Although it was five weeks ago, it still feels like it was yesterday. I know I’ll remember the feeling of happiness when seeing her little face for the first time, as I do with Hannah’s birth.

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    Do you have a birth tale to tell? Any early or surprise births?

    LIFE, MAMA & BABY, Maternity, My Kidlets

    So, It’s Really Happening… | 36 Week Bump Update

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    So, this will probably be my last bump update. As Hannah was born at 37 weeks the prediction is that this baby will come early, and if not I will be in for another C-section as for the first. It’s really happening! I’m certainly feeling quite ready to get rid of this huge stomach and hold a little newborn. I keep bumping into things, my back is killing me and of course Hannah just wants to be picked up all the time so that is not fun. Hannah’s behaviour has certainly changed in the past week – there’s been at least one major tantrum per day (with screaming and throwing herself on the floor and lashing out), which I think could be the combination of testing the boundaries and her cottoning-on to the fact she will soon be one of two children.

    I speak to her almost daily about a new brother or sister arriving; she seems excited yet it’s really quite hard to tell. I’ve tried to reiterate the fact that babies don’t do too much when they’re born and although we will still be able to go to the park and play and have fun the baby will come as well.

    We also went out and bought a present for the baby (for Hannah to give), and also secretly a present for Hannah from ‘the baby’. Hannah picked out a Very Hungry Caterpillar teething comforter toy (“pillar-pillar” she calls it) for the baby, and my heart melted. SO CUTE.

    So although we don’t really know how she will react, I think it will obviosuly entail some adjustment, however I am excited to see her face when she meets her brother or sister.

    Here’s what else I’ve been up to this month.

    How far along?: 36 weeks today.
    Weight gain/loss?: gain of approximately 14kg.
    Maternity clothes: I’m three weeks into Frocktober (sponsor me here!) so I’ve been wearing dresses for most of the month. I’ve pulled out a few old maxi dresses and they have been great for the warm days. I bought a strapless maternity bra by La Leche League and it seems to work ok under some of the dresses. There’s a major gap in the market for a flattering, practical maternity strapless bra!

    Pregnancy bump comparison

    Here’s a fun comparison – 24 week, 31 weeks and 36 weeks! Wearing Boohoo dress, Target slides and Forever 21 Panama; and Rubi sandals and Dissh boater hat.

    Sleep: nowhere near enough!
    Best moment this week: realising I only have a few weeks left to go, and shopping with Hannah for a baby gift.
    Food cravings: fish and chips with lots of fresh lemon, vietnamese salads, chilli.
    Food aversions: heavy meat dishes.
    Gender: still a surprise.
    What I miss: a cold, cold glass of wine. Or gin and tonic. Or some sort of ridiculous fruity cocktail.
    What I’m looking forward to: meeting the baby, the challenge of two children (haha just joking!) and above all else bringing the baby home.